What defines an ally of the LGBTQ+ community? Instead of trying to answer that ourselves we went straight to the source, to some of Hampton Roads’ most loyal and loving allies. Some of their responses will surprise you. All will warm your heart.
LIZ POPLAWSKY
“To me being an ally is simple. It means that you love dearly and unconditionally; you step up and stand up for your family & friends; and you and your home are a safe space. It means that you believe in a world where everyone can be accepted and loved no matter their gender or sexual orientation. The world needs more allies and more love to go around. I’m proud to be a defender, a shoulder to lean on, and a hand to hold for my family and friends.”
REBEKAH LONG
“Recognizing people as individual human beings, respecting their way of life, and accepting them for exactly who they are!”
FATHER CHIP RUSSELL, EPISCOPAL PRIEST
“I grew up in a middle-class suburban context that included so much erasure of differences, faults, failures, and feelings that there was no hope for a healthy life. People pretended to be what they weren’t to meet their own fantasy standards of who good people had to be. It was awful and I became desperate to find something else, some way of living that was genuine and supported the dignity of every person who they are.
“It was a long process to heal through better ways of living based in love. Eventually I learned to claim a deep allyship with the LGBTQ++ community who have for so long been denied, in every context, the rights and dignities entitled to every human. The way I speak, who I look out for, what I react to, even how I introduce myself formally have all changed in my pursuit of being a better human and an ally. It touches every part of my life because allyship changed me for the better.”
MARY G. COMMANDER
“While it may be overly simplistic, I try to be a good ally by learning about the things I don’t know; accepting the things that I can’t always understand; and believing that love is more important than gender. On a more practical note, I have always represented gay and lesbian clients in court even when there was overt bias against them. I have supported organizations like Equality Virginia for decades and will continue to do so. I keep Abby and Corey employed. I enjoy drinking Screwball at MJ’s!”
JOSH HOWELL
“For over two decades, I’ve been on a mission to be the ultimate LGBTQ+ ally especially within student populations. Creating safe and supportive spaces for LGBTQ+ students has been my jam. I even went full superhero mode and started Pride Clubs at both TCC and the College of The Albemarle. Because let’s face it, every student deserves a place to shine brighter than a disco ball. Cue me, the fearless leader of safe space training sessions armed with rainbow capes and empowering knowledge.
“Oh, and let’s not forget my epic battles with policymakers, fighting for fair and inclusive policies that scream, ‘Love is love!’ But amidst all the rainbow-colored chaos, my heart lies in being a mentor and guide for LGBTQ+ students helping them navigate the maze of identity like a pro. Because who needs a knight in shining armor when you’ve got a rainbow-clad ally like me?”
DEBBIE OBERG
“I’ve never really thought about why it’s important to me to be an ally but in the past 7 years, I have shared the joy in watching others feel acceptance and belonging and been able to help if someone finds themselves in a dark place. Being an ally, I have had the honor of having some of the best friends in my life, especially Charles Kirtland, and I hope to always share his visions and gifts with others.”
PATTY PRUITT
“Growing up my perception was that we are all the same, different, but equal. The people my mom and dad worked with were literally like aunts and uncles to me. I didn’t know to look at anyone as gay or straight. It was not until I was a little older and was bullied severely in school for what my parents did for a job (LGBTQ+ bars beginning circa 1990) that I realized the world treated people differently based on how we are born and who we are.
“Every day I remember that the deep pain I experienced was only a tiny drop in comparison to the prejudice and hurt that the people in our community face every single day. Allyship to me means that people know you love them, you will protect them at all costs, support them, that you will educate others to do the same, and to stand up against hate and discrimination. Who I am inside as a person is because of this community.”
Editor’s Note: This article originally appeared in the June 2024 edition of Outlife757 Magazine.